‘Haunted Mansion’ Review: A Disney Ride to Nowhere Fun

There is a mansion, it’s haunted, boo, blah, the tip.

That’s just about all there may be to say about “Haunted Mansion,” a live-action branding alternative from Disney “inspired by” its theme-park attraction of the identical title. The first of those opened in 1969 in Disneyland, in Anaheim, Calif., the place it’s within the “Music-Lovin’ New Orleans Square,” because the park’s web site places it. That’s the location of one other fan favourite, the Pirates of the Caribbean experience, which spawned a multibillion-dollar movie franchise for Disney. “Haunted Mansion” is unlikely to do the identical.

This is the second function primarily based on the “Mansion” attraction. (A 2021 Halloween particular, “Muppet Haunted Mansion,” is streaming on Disney+.) The first movie, “The Haunted Mansion” (2003), starring Eddie Murphy, was broadly panned however made thousands and thousands. In his assessment, the New York Times critic Elvis Mitchell wrote that it was “only a matter of time before “‘Parking Lot: The Movie’ and ‘People-Mover: The Motion Picture,’” an commentary that feels extra true and fewer humorous now that this 12 months has introduced us different I.P.-based branding alternatives about every kind of stuff, together with sneakers (“Air”), video games (“Tetris,” “The Super Mario Bros. Movie”), junk meals (“Flamin’ Hot”) and, in fact, a doll (a.okay.a. “Barbie”).

The new “Haunted Mansion” was directed by Justin Simien, whose first function, “Dear White People” (2014), is an incisive, sharply humorous satire a few political firestorm at a school that earned him plenty of consideration and led to each a guide and a well-received Netflix present of the identical title. I hope that Disney paid Simien truckloads of cash to direct “Haunted Mansion,” and that he had extra enjoyable making it than I had watching it. He retains issues transferring alongside, roughly, and the interesting forged hit their marks, nevertheless it’s dispiriting to see him directing what’s successfully a feature-length Disney promotion. I hope it’s his final big-studio advert.

It stars LaKeith Stanfield (“Atlanta”), who imbues his generic position — a brainiac with a tragic story and busy tear ducts — with extra emotional depth than the film requires, which is its solely shock. His character, Ben, has developed a digicam that may take images of ghosts, gear that you just’d count on the paranormal investigators within the (non-Disney) Ghostbusters sequence to have. And, wouldn’t it, the screenwriter right here, Katie Dippold, additionally co-wrote the female-led “Ghostbusters” (2016) reboot. Like that film, “Haunted Mansion” encompasses a ragtag group of likable eccentrics battling digital ghosts, nevertheless it’s fright-free and much much less humorous. It’s all setup and no payoff.

The forged consists of Rosario Dawson, whose unwaveringly mounted smile means that she determined to simply grin and bear it to play Gabbie, a single mom with a predictably cute moppet, Travis (Chase W. Dillon). Gabbie needs to open a bed-and-breakfast within the mansion, which she discovered on Zillow, one in every of various product manufacturers invoked all through the film. (For a cross-promotion stunt, the mansion has been listed on Zillow in the actual world.) Also onboard is an oddball priest (Owen Wilson), a ditsy medium (Tiffany Haddish) and an excitable scholar (Danny DeVito). Jamie Lee Curtis pops in, too, for a flip that made me wish to rewatch her genuinely scary efficiency in “The Bear,” a present on the Disney-owned streamer Hulu. I’d watch Curtis in absolutely anything, together with “Parking Lot: The Movie,” which I assume is already in growth.

Haunted Mansion
Rated PG-13 for very gentle ghost motion. Running time: 2 hours 2 minutes. In theaters.